week 7 – family

“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid”. ~Audre Lorde

There is no such thing as a “normal” family. Just as the mythical norm supposes what all women should look like, we are constantly fed ideas about the perfect family. While there are plenty of traditional nuclear families – husband, wife, two kids, dog :) – there are plenty of families who do not fit this mold. Feminists insist all families are acceptable; what is important is that the people in each family love and respect one another.

Image courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/retro-girl66/218365140/

Image courtesy Kimya Dawson

The US Census Bureau provides a lot of fascinating statistics about changing American families. They cite that we are “marrying older and living alone more.” Children are a large part of many families – and not just married men and women. COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) was founded “to engage, connect, and empower people to make the world a better place for children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender parents and families.” They cite that “in the United States alone, more than 10 million people have one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender parent(s).” Because society is not always accepting of – and sometimes downright hostile to – these families (parents and children alike), this organization is a support network letting people (and lawmakers) know they are not alone.

Image courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/71279724@N00/264813064/

There is a lot of pressure on women to be a superwoman – doing everything and doing it perfectly. Perhaps it is time we cut ourselves some slack and admit we are only human. Feminists are often perceived to rail against ‘traditional’ family structures and reject motherhood. In fact, modern feminists support the right of all women to choose what best works for them. A traditional marriage and family structure? Great. Stay-at-home mom? Wonderful. Lesbian relationship and kids? Fine. What is important to feminists is choice. Feminists support the choices women make. This does not denigrate tradition, but asks that respect also be given to non-traditional choices.

Chapter 7 readings

Textbook readings:

• Chapter 7 introduction, 3rd ed.: p.372-388; 4th ed.: p.p.378-395
• Reading 53/52 “Marriage and Love”, Goldman, 3rd ed.: p.389-391; 4th ed.: p.396-398 Please note the year this was written.
• Reading 54/53 “Cheaper than a Cow”, Kennedy, 3rd ed.: p.391-395; 4th ed.: p.398-402
• Reading 55 “The Myth of the Perfect Mother”, Warner, 3rd ed.: p.395-399; 4th ed.: not available
• Reading 54 “Who Wants to Marry a Feminist?” Miya-Jervis, 3rd ed.: not available;  4th ed.: p.402-404
• Reading 56 “Partners as Parents… Challenges Faced by Gays Denied Marriage”, Gomes, 3rd ed.: p.400-406; 4th ed.: p.408-414
• Reading 57 “Man Child”, Lorde, 3rd ed.: p.406-410; 4th ed.: p.414-418
• Reading 58 “The Emperor’s New Woes”, Elder, 3rd ed.: p.410-413; 4th ed.: not available
• Reading 60 “Only Daughter”, Cisneros, 3rd ed.: p.426-427; 4th ed.: not available

Supplemental readings:

• Audre Lorde biography http://www.lambda.net/%7Emaximum/lorde.html
• Emma Goldman Online Exhibition http://sunsite3.berkeley.edu/Goldman/Exhibition/introduction.html
• COLAGE Spotlight Archive http://colage.org/chapters/spotlight/
• Saudi judge refuses to annul 8-year-old’s marriage. CNN. April 12, 2009. http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/04/12/saudi.child.marriage/index.html
• Hulu – Global Voices: The Day My God Died PBS. 54 minutes. http://www.hulu.com/watch/69769/global-voices-the-day-my-god-died
• Take your wife’s name? That’ll cost you — so ACLU steps in.  Hall.  Los Angeles Times. December 15, 2006.  http://articles.latimes.com/2006/dec/15/local/me-marry15
• All God’s children.  Joyce.  March 14, 2009.  http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/14/joyce_quiverfull/
• A Pop Quiz on Marriage.  Coontz. New York Times. February 19, 2006.  http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2006/02/18/opinion/19coontz.html